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Last week I found myself in two places where I haven’t been
in quite some time: a fitness center and a church. Sunday morning rolled around and for once I hadn’t slept past
noon and my head wasn’t unbearably sore, so something compelled me to go to
church. One might say I was moved, as
if by a “higher power.” (Picture me making quotation fingers ala God Warrior
part One). Although I went to a nice
conservative little Lutheran church in South Minneapolis, as soon as I sat
down, I looked to my right and noticed the kid sitting in the next pew over had
a meticulously styled, sweet, pointy Mohawk.
It really made me appreciate living in the city. Let’s just say that that sort of thing would
not happen amongst the 35 people that regularly attend my mother’s church.
I also spent an evening at the brand new Lifetime Fitness
facility in Plymouth, Minnesota. I only
went because I was lured with the promise of a free smoothie. Really, who would turn down a free smoothie? We were actually planning on playing
racquetball, but when we got there we discovered that the racquetball courts
were closed for resurfacing. As it
turns out, I did not get my free smoothie either because by the time we were
leaving, the juice bar was closed too.
Double bust.
So far off to a bad start.
The upside, though, was that I did get to experience one of those “make
you smile to yourself for days after” moments that one can only really
experience at the Lifetime Fitness in Plymouth.
Shortly after we arrived and discovered that we could
not play racquetball, we decided to play some basketball. There were only four of us though, and that
didn’t last, which really only left one thing to do in a fitness center, which
is to work out. Uug. I took my place on one of the many
elliptical machines within the endless rows of treadmills, Stairmasters and
stationary bikes, and set the timer to 30 minutes. I totally got into the sweet music videos that were playing and
before I knew it I was flying past the 27-minute mark, so I figured I should
get ready to cool things down. At that
moment I also noticed that a very attractive (the “she must work-out” type)
girl got on one of the treadmills in the row ahead of me. Right next to her was a middle-aged nerdy
Asian fellow also running on a treadmill.
They were both into their workout, when out of nowhere the nerdy guy
farted so loud that he kind of jumped immediately looked over at the hot girl
to see if she had noticed. He seemed
really surprised. That fart just came
out of nowhere. You could really tell
that he did not see that one coming. He
was just minding his own business, trying to get in a decent run, and then,
Bam! His shorts are feeling a little
wet. The good news is that the hot
chick had headphones on and didn’t seem to notice. Thank God for the IPod. |
| | Posted 3/30/2007 9:46 PM - 8 Views - 6 eProps - 3 comments
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